It was
the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was
the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of
incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was
the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us,
we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going
direct the other way…
CHARLES
DICKENS – A Tale of Two Cities
Ah, there
you are! I’ve already been waiting for you. Now hurry up! Frankly, being so
tardy without a proper excuse is very impolite, but I suppose that’s just the
way it is with you young people nowadays. Well… I had prepared an excellent
speech to welcome you all, but seeing how late it is now, I’m afraid I’ve got
to shorten it considerably. Now don’t you complain, you’ve got only yourself to
blame, you know!
Ehem… For
those of you who are so unfortunate as not to know who I am yet, allow me to
introduce myself. My name is Professor Phineas Horatio Emerald Nigellus Black – I am sure
you have at least heard of me. Yes, of course you have. In my time, I was an
Honourable Member of the Wizengamot, and for more than thirty years, I’ve been
Headmaster in Hogwarts, School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. As it is, I am dead
– technically – for ninety-four years, next October, so that you’ve got to
content yourself with my portrait self. I’m sure you don’t mind.
Unlike
most of my colleagues, I’ve kept an open mind for the world around me, even
after my own death, and since no one else has bothered to volunteer, I’ve made
it my profession to serve as a historian, a collector you might say, as the
memory of this noble school, its chronicler, and ultimately, also as an editor
of the story you have come to hear. Which was a difficult labour, as you can
imagine. So many things have happened, so many voices had to be heard, memories
had to be collected and sorted… I’ve worked day and night for more than a year.
But the
results have not failed to satisfy me and reward my efforts. I am pleased to be
now able to present you with a first-hand version of the story, how it really
happened, or at least with the closest version of reality possible among so
many people who all have had their own points of view. I was able to convince
some of the eyewitnesses and participants to conserve their memories by magic
so they could be examined by the means of a Pensieve. Others were so kind to
write down protocols of their experiences. I’ve interviewed a couple of other
portraits, evaluated official documents from the Ministry of Magic and so
forth, and brought it all into a rational order. Also, you can take a look at
the seven-volume-edition, recording the famous Harry Potter’s school-time. I
was told that it is by now available in Muggle shops, too.
I will
start my recounting in September 1967, and basically move on chronologically,
unless I feel that a short detour to past events needs to be made for your
better understanding. So be attentive, I won’t repeat myself merely because you
rascals think you can interrupt while I am speaking! I also advise you to be
patient – patience is a virtue, but it appears to be considered
old-fashioned nowadays. It is for your own benefit, you know. It is my firm
belief that this story can tell you a lot about life and human nature in
general, if you’ve got it in you to listen, which is, sadly enough, a –
– My dear Phineas, I think this is really enough of an
introduction. Do not test your audience’s patience too much. –
Excuse
me? Oh, yes, yes… My dear fellows, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls –
please allow me to introduce you to my assistant editor, Professor Albus
Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, former Headmaster and one of my successors.
Incidentally, since we’re talking about them, in the corner over there, you can
see Professor Armando William Benvolio Dippet – try not to wake him up, please;
he can be a little tiresome once he’s awake, and we don’t want him to interrupt
our tale –
– Phineas, go AHEAD, please! –
Yes, yes…
Talking about patience… However – I shall thus begin…
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