Mittwoch, 25. Juli 2012

II.4. – Disenchanted



One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand

COLDPLAY – Viva la vida


If only he had the slightest clue what they were doing here. Lurking in the cold, drenched by rain, in the middle of the night without knowing why was rather unsatisfying. For all Lucius could say, they were waiting for a delivery. The waning spirits of his companions didn’t improve the general situation either.

“Rooted to the spot – I never knew what that phrase really means,” Karkaroff muttered and received some sniggers for the remark. “Bloody English climate!”

“Can’t imagine it’s so much better in Russia, is it!”

“You mark my words, Malfoy, it is not raining eleven days out of ten!”

“I’ve got a terrible itch. That owl is killing me!”

“Try chasing it away then, Avery!”

“Why are the Lestranges allowed to wait in that cellar while we’re standing here?!”

“Just shut it, Yaxley.”

 “I’d rather trade places with Kegg, you know!”

“Kegg cannot transform himself into a tree, though.”

“Well, perhaps he’d manage some bush?”

“If you don’t shut up I’ll transfigure you into firewood as soon as this is over! All of you!”

Thus, the strange, barren trees fell silent again and stared at the back entrance they were monitoring. The small barn owl sitting on a particularly strong branch still ruffled its feathers, and in the distance, a clock was striking two times. Lucius was as discontent as everybody else, but at least he didn’t speak his mind. His thoughts trailed away – home – to his wife. He knew she didn’t go to bed before he was back, she never did, but he pictured her tugged up in their warm comfortable bed all the same, in that favourite negligee of his. Oh, Cissa, warm, soft, tender Cissa; he longed to lie down next to her and wrap her up in his arms...

Indeed, Narcissa was still up, waiting. She blankly refused going to bed before her husband was home in nights like this. If he was just out with some friends or business partners, she might lie down and read a book, but if he was gone for an assignment, she was too restless for that much. She had no exact idea what he was doing on those occasions; she thought she didn’t want to know, but she knew that it might be dangerous.

Her greatest solace was the fact that Lucius indeed had a unique gift for Dark Magic. He hadn’t achieved his rank in the Dark Order for nothing! No, he was a mighty fighter, almost unrivalled in his powers. Perhaps Bella was en par with him – and then there was his master, of course – but otherwise, nobody could match him.

His master, ph! Narcissa remembered very well how much she had admired young Tom Riddle – most excellent student Hogwarts had ever seen – and how enthusiastic she had been when understanding that he of all persons should be the one to instruct Lucius. No, in that regard, she didn’t suffer from amnesia. Only her assessment of the situation had changed diametrically. Tom Riddle – or how he nowadays styled himself: Lord Voldemort (ts!) – was certainly a genius in his own right, but he was also a dangerous lunatic, if one asked the wife of his right-hand-man.

To give an example – when he had realised that Lucius knew the secret of his origin, he had completely freaked out, had downright threatened him, and even though Lucius had never mentioned it, she was fairly sure that the damned man had threatened her as well. That was his usual strategy. As a consequence, she had started to learn Occlumency and taught it to Lucius as well. When one of his Death Eaters was insubordinate, the punishment was severe. And if one tried to resign, the punishment was death – and not the quick and painless sort! Narcissa hadn’t got the least bit of sympathy for that line of policy, all the more because she didn’t understand what he wanted. For all she could see, he didn’t have any rational purpose at all. He had founded an order, coerced his men to pledge their lives to him – and since then, he just dabbled around. He frequently had Muggles killed, and Muggle-born, and people openly sympathizing with either. He’d also let his people assault Ministry wizards or Wizengamot members, but nothing of all this seemed to lead anywhere much. And for this nonsense, Lucius was risking everything?!

The decay of his rational capacities had gone hand in hand with the complete destruction of the man’s appearance. Remembering that photo she had so often looked at, the handsome, delicate face with the piercing, dark eyes and wavy dark hair, she couldn’t imagine how it had come to this. All right, so he had become older, but people got older all the time! Nowadays, his skin was white like wax; it looked not so much unhealthy but unnatural, and speaking of unnatural – what on earth was wrong with his eyes?! They were no longer dark, but rather red. His features were altered beyond recognition as well; no one right in their mind would have suspected him to have been a good-looking fellow in his teens!

He had heard about Narcissa’s talent and intelligence, and even though only very few witches were serving him, it had been suggested that she should join up as well. A simple ‘No, thanks’ was no option though, even less for the wife of Lucius Malfoy. Narcissa still shuddered when thinking of that night, and how very, very lucky she had been. She had always taken a certain amount of pride in her countenance; she wasn’t one to flinch, or let her thoughts and emotions show. That night, she hadn’t been so much proud of that ability – she had felt rather blessed.

The meeting had taken place in Magna Timor, the Lestranges’ country mansion. Originally, they had been supposed to gather in Malfoy Manor, but both Lucius and Narcissa had deemed that a pretty bad idea. It was never prudent to invite guests when there was just a small chance that they might encounter Abraxas, and it was decidedly unsafe to invite that particular set of people. Whatever he might say, Lucius didn’t want to see his father being killed, and that would have been a likely outcome should the old man meet the other old man. Abraxas could never keep his mouth shut, let alone his mind.

Bella, of course, had been all for the idea, and Narcissa had been prudent enough to never do as much as hint at her utter disinclination to become another of Voldemort’s servants. So she had smiled modestly, had trembled a little, and spoken of the ‘great honour’ – all the while she had stood up the old warlock’s inquisitive gaze, seemingly allowing him to search her mind but actually only showing him what he was supposed to see – her diffidence, her horror of violence, her fears and hesitations. He had soon enough interrupted the interrogation with a dismissive gesture.

“She’s not fit to be one of us,” he had stated in disdain, addressing Lucius and Bella as if Narcissa wasn’t even there. “Too soft. She’ll never do what it takes in the crucial moment!”

“But Master!” Bella had cried.

“Silence! You’ve heard me.”

Narcissa had lowered her head and let her shoulders sink. “Give me another chance, my lord, I beg you –”

“She is the smartest witch I have ever met,” Lucius had dutifully thrown in. “I have taught her a little, and if you could take over to instruct her –”

“I’ll not waste my time on a lost cause, and that’s the last I’ll say on the case!”

Lucius had trimmed his face into defeated resignation, Narcissa had managed to let her eyes well up, Bella had put on a pout – and that had been it, then. Later that night, she and Lucius had drunken two bottles of the best champagne in Abraxas’ cellar to celebrate their victory.

She sometimes wondered whether her decision had been right. As a Death Eater, she could at least be with her husband... Now she was sitting at home, staring out of the window into black nothingness and almost biting her fingernails with the unbearable tension. ‘He’s an awesome Dark wizard,’ she kept on reminding herself, ‘his powers are only rivaled by his master’s, nothing can happen to him, nothing will happen to him, before long he’ll be right back with me, it will be all right.’

She repeated that mantra, which was less optimistic but desperate, all through the night’s darkest hours, while a storm was raging outside, but she hardly noticed the hail and lightning. What if something happened to him? What if he was injured! Or if he got himself arrested? Or if... No! She didn’t allow herself to do as much as think of it! Nothing would happen to him! Everything would be fine, she kept on telling herself. Everything was fine, more than just fine. Her life was heaven! She was sitting in an armchair next to the window of their bedroom, until she couldn’t endure it any longer, wrapped herself up in a large pashmina and sneaked out and up into the library.

She had not quite entered it when almost bumping into Abraxas. “You haven’t been to bed yet,” he stated matter-of-factly, appraising her with narrowed eyes. “That boy has earned himself a sound thrashing for troubling you so, my dear.”

“I’m fine, Father. Nothing’s the matter. I just meant to get a book –”

“I know you always stick up for him and I give you credit for that loyalty, but you know that I am right.”

“No, you’re not, Father.” She gave him her most charming smile, anxious to change the topic. She didn’t know how long she could keep up that sham, because truth was – she was so nervous, she was on the verge of crying. “But why are you still up, hm?”

“For the same reason like you. I’m waiting for my son to come back home, safe and sound. You cannot fool me, Narcissa. You know, I’ve half a mind to tell your father what your nonsensical sister and my wayward son are going on about. Perhaps together we –”

“No!” she cried, aghast. “You mustn’t do that! You must promise to me that you will not do that! Papa’s got a weak heart, he –”

“I know, dear. But what do you think will happen to him if your sister is caught, eh? Or killed, straightaway!”

“Nothing will happen to her,” she murmured stubbornly. “She’s incredible with the Dark Arts – and so is Lucius, incidentally! He is an awesome wizard, Father, when will you finally acknowledge that? Nothing will happen to him!”

Her father-in-law shot her a benevolent, sad smile. “It’s called ‘wishful thinking’, my dear child. No matter how powerful some wizard is, there’ll always come along another one sooner or later even more powerful.”

“Don’t, Father, please! Stop it, I pray you!”

But he didn’t, of course. “He’d never listen to me, but if you could talk to him, dear. He hasn’t got an ounce of common sense, but he’ll do what you’ll say and –”

“I’ll do nothing of the kind, Father! I’d condemn him to his death! Haven’t you heard what happened to Carl deWinter?! You cannot resign from the Dark Order, they’ve sworn an oath of life-long service!”

“Foolish children! All of them! Pledging their lives to – to what, actually?! I’ve never grasped what they’re even fighting for!”

Yes, well… To be honest, Narcissa didn’t quite understand that herself. Straining to remain calm, she murmured, “It doesn’t matter, does it? One cause or another… I’ve never believed in causes and crusades; nothing of all this is worth dying for if you want my opinion. But that is the pivotal point – neither your opinion, nor mine, nor Lucius’, has any weight in the question. He cannot go back, it’s as simple as that!”

“If he at least had a son –” Abraxas sighed.

Narcissa knew what’d come next, and she thought she really had no nerve for that discussion. “We will have a son one day, Father, and you need not worry that the family line has come to an end. Lucius will return soon, he’ll return tomorrow and every other goddamned day and sooner or later we will have a child together and everything will be bloody fine!”

She had pressed the words through clenched teeth, but it was her untypical use of the word ‘bloody’ that startled Abraxas, made him reach out for her arm and press it gently. “You know what I mean, my dear. Forgive an old man for fretting that his son is the last branch of an old tree.”

“I am sorry for speaking out of turn, Father,” she replied deliberately mildly and did her best to smile.

In this moment, they were interrupted. “Master! Master!” Breathlessly, Nobby Apparated right between them, clutching a newspaper – an extra edition it would seem – and waving with it at his master before realising who else was here. “Oh! My Lady Narcissa! Disturbing – I’m disturbing you – I better –”

And he would have Disapparated on the spot again if Narcissa had not grabbed his arm. “What is it?” she asked urgently, her grip on him steely, unrelenting and wrestling the paper out of his tiny hands.

Abraxas tried to intervene. “Don’t, Narcissa, you mustn’t –”

“What’s this! What –” Only then, she could read the headline on the front page and her heart stopped beating.

MINISTRY TRIUMPHS! SIX DEATH EATERS KILLED!

She didn’t notice that she was swaying, she didn’t notice that her knees gave way, she didn’t notice that Abraxas and Nobby caught her before she hit the ground. Cursing his son under his breath, Abraxas called for more elves and together, they transported the barely conscious witch back to her bedroom, put her down on the large bed, put cushions under her head and spread blankets over her body. Tears were streaming down her face like sheets of rain, and she kept on chanting, “No, no, no, he’s fine, he’s fine, he’ll be home in a minute, he’s fine, nothing can happen to him, he’s fine –”

Abraxas was a tough old codger, but his one soft spot was his young daughter-in-law, and it broke his heart to see her like this. His compassion even overruled his own worries for his son, it drowned out even the seething anger for a little while. “Shhh, shhh, my dearest, the blithering arse will come home to you soon… You said it yourself, he is a mighty Dark Wizard. It’ll all be all right. Shhh…”

But Narcissa wasn’t to be soothed. In fact, the crying got harder and harder; she was shaken violently with sobs, and Abraxas’ fury returned with a vengeance. That stupid, irresponsible excuse for a son of his! How could he inflict such pain on that poor girl?! Oh, let him come home and Abraxas would teach him a lesson he was bound to remember!

The door was opened without a sound and the old man expected to see another elf popping in to check on its mistress, but it was the bloody boy himself and not thinking twice, Abraxas grabbed his wand and hurled a curse at him. Lucius barely managed to duck and cast a shield charm, and Narcissa screeched and was out of bed with one quick leap and hurled herself into her husband’s arms.

“You wayward worm, you pathetic dunderhead of a good-for-nothing numbskull!” Abraxas boomed in the background.

His son didn’t even notice that outbreak, he only heard Narcissa’s hoarse whispers, “You’re back! You’re back! I thought I should never see you again! You’re back with me!”

“I’ve sworn I’d never leave you, did you forget?” he said under his breath, pressing her so tightly she could hardly breathe. He couldn’t remember to have ever seen Narcissa cry like this; she wasn’t the type to cry in the first place, and he didn’t quite grasp what had happened to unsettle her so. A fight with Abraxas? A nightmare? What? The he faintly registered the newspaper on the floor, front page on top, and understood it all at once. Oh, shit. Damn it, damn it, damn it!

“Hey...” He gently chucked her under the chin, made her look into his face, smiled at her, then wiped away the tears from her cheeks. “Everything’s all right, mon ange –”

All right?!” Abraxas thundered.

Lucius ignored him and placed a kiss on his wife’s forehead. He didn’t know what to say. That nothing had happened? That was a lie and she knew it; what was more – he never deliberately lied to her. “I’m fine, ma chère, not a scratch. You must not trouble yourself so...”

“Who’s dead?” Abraxas asked now, his voice calmer, and Lucius was sort of grateful because at least on that head, he had some answers to give.

“Spencer Kegg, the two Nelson brothers, old Geoff Mortlake and – well –”

“Bella?” Narcissa groaned with bated breath.

“Bella! No! She’s like vermin, unstoppable, invincible and really –” He bit his lip. This was not the moment to divulge on Bella’s latest atrocities. He didn’t tell Narcissa about her sister’s blood thirst if he could prevent it anyhow. “No, I’m afraid Robinius is – he got killed.”

“Young Robinius Lestrange is dead?” Abraxas asked, sounding slightly put out. ‘Young’ was, of course, only a matter of perspective here. Robinius was – had been – an old man, but twenty years Abraxas’ junior still. But the old man found back to his usual verve immediately. “Oh, well. They had it coming!”

His shaking wife in his arms, Lucius shot his father a grave look. “Tomorrow, Father. If you really want to discuss any of this, let us speak tomorrow. I want to take Cissa to bed now.”

And that was what he did. Not ten minutes later, they were lying in bed together, tightly embracing, and Narcissa whispered, “Was it very bad? I mean – close?”

Merlin, yes. More than close. These damned museum wizards had been guarded by Aurors, who apparently had expected a robbery – though they clearly hadn’t reckoned with a bunch of Death Eaters attacking the delivery of... Well, Lucius still didn’t know what had been supposed to be in that crate. His order had been to get the goddamned thing, and at least in that respect, he had been successful, even if one third of his crew had lost their lives for it. He had brought it to the master, who had quickly looked through the contents, clearly dissatisfied because he had set it on fire with a quick flick of his wand. The news that six of his men had died, he had answered with a mere shrug. “Survival of the fittest – isn’t that what the Muggles say?”

Lucius kissed the top of Narcissa’s head. “Do you truly want an answer, my love?”

She hesitated, before murmuring, “I guess I do... After seeing that bloody paper...”

“I’ll make sure that never happens again, Cissa. If I can’t promise you any better, I can at least see to that!”

“So what happened?”

He told her about the plan, his subdued anger to be reduced to petty theft, the arrival of that silly crate, how it had been a trap and how all hell had broken loose next. The Aurors had permission to kill now and as soon as seeing that they weren’t dealing with normal thieves, they had no longer held back in any small degree.

Nothing he said was a lie, but he took great care to speak in casual tones as if to suggest that the course of events had been but a slight change of routine. That strategy didn’t work out, however, because he could feel her getting more and more tense.

“The Aurors have permission to kill now?” she echoed.

“Apparently.”

“What if... Can something...”

“Nah. Don’t you worry, my love. I’m not scared of them. The most dangerous thing tonight were our own folks. Kegg and one of the Nelsons died by friendly fire.”

Narcissa groaned. “Oh, Merlin!”

*****

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